The holidays are a time for us to become closer to our loved ones. They are also a time for women to be overburdened by the season. We are expected to cook, clean, decorate, get the children dressed, and attend Thanksgiving dinner as if we didn’t run on anxiety the whole day.
Still, we sit at the table enjoying our prepared meal while catching the shade our family member threw us. Deeply exhausted, we suck it up for the sake of “getting along.” Meanwhile, we are drained beyond belief and counting down the hours for our guests to leave so we can release ourselves from the shackles of our makeup, bra, and wardrobe.
Dear women, it is okay not to do it all this holiday season. Permit yourself to say no to the party or cook for a guest list of 20. Fight the urge to be the “strong woman” when someone says, “But you always make the turkey; you’re so good at it.” It’s okay to choose to be good to yourself instead.
Self-care is a surface-level term that receives pushback for being mainly material. But it’s not just about the face masks. It’s about taking the time to exhale the stresses of being a woman and inhale everything that makes us feel aligned. It’s also our greatest survival tool when life becomes a bit overwhelming.
One of the most remarkable healing tools we can give ourselves during this time is to lean on other women. The women in our village can serve as a guiding light. The women we follow on social media can comfort us sometimes, too—giving us tips and tricks that relieve us.
In that spirit, we’ve chatted with a few influential women about how they care for themselves during the holidays. Their stories below.
Tina Meeks
Time is scarce for Tina Meeks. She spends it caring for her four children, creating content, hosting holiday parties, and organizing charity events. She describes this time as “mental gymnastics,” as she balances the joys of pregnancy and life’s obstacles. “Our family calendar is nuts during this time of year, so for me, it’s a busy time,” Meeks expresses. Her survival kit for this season has been having the strength to say no and not compromise her boundaries.
Meeks centers herself by marking days “off” on her calendar. This allows her to do nothing at all or the freedom to do what brings her joy. It is a moment of pause that gives Meeks the strength to continue. “I’ve learned that if I’m not centered, neither is my family because my kids will feed off my energy. Therefore, I must protect my peace when I have too many things on my plate.”
Kay Davenport
Anxiety is something Kay Davenport knows all too well during the holidays. Balancing a household, career, and hosting two families during the holidays can be overwhelming for anyone. “Just the thought of planning and prepping can easily make me anxious,” says Davenport.
Despite this, preparation is also a way of bringing her a sense of ease. She believes staying two steps ahead can minimize stress. “Preparing helps me prioritize my calm during a season that can bring excitement and other emotions.”
Davenport sees preparation as a way of regaining her power. It is her secret weapon for controlling her emotions. She also advocates for taking time to breathe. “My husband and I tap out and find a quiet place to breathe and simply take a break while we are hosting.”
Dr. Robin Barrett
As an entrepreneur, Dr. Robin Barrett is always on the go. Between balancing work, family, and her fitness goals, time is limited. Still, she finds a moment to spend with her loved ones during the holidays. Family time fills her cup, and she allows herself to indulge by being present with her loved ones. This has taught her to be graceful with herself, even if it means not always finding time to stick to her routine. “it can get chaotic, but it’s also the perfect time to pause, recharge, and set the tone for the year ahead.”
Outside of her family, physical activity remains Dr. Barrett’s saving grace. “Exercise is how I recharge. It doesn’t have to be a full-blown workout. Sometimes, just 10 minutes of stretching or a brisk walk can make a huge difference in my mental clarity,” says Dr. Barrett.
Oyin Edogi
This time of year, Oyin Edogi feels the pressure of perfectionism. She strives to provide the perfect holiday dinner, travel, and overall experiences. Naturally, living up to this standard can feel overwhelming and as if time is against her. Just when it all becomes too much, Edogi reminds herself of the simple aspect that brings her joy during the holidays—her family. She inhales this truth and exhales the unnecessary pressure she placed upon herself.
In addition to family time, Edogi also finds it essential to make time for herself. “Whether it’s reading a book, taking a warm bath, or simply enjoying myself in silence, these moments allow me to recharge and find peace,” says Edogi. Implementing these practices has decreased her stress levels.
As a woman living with anxiety, she is aware of the importance of calming the voices that carry with her throughout the day. “Taking care of yourself first is the most important thing because you can’t pour into others if your cup is empty. Remember, it’s important to protect your peace and create boundaries to prevent burnout and enjoy the holidays to the fullest.”